Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Finding My Voice

Whom Do You Choose?

That’s a phrase my voice teacher, Karla, uses for warm ups. We sing, “Whom … Do… You… Choose…”, listening to the resonance of each note, focusing on the color of the sound, egg-shaping the interior of our mouths as we descend the four notes of the arpeggio. I have to concentrate. I have to pay attention. It does not come easily.

Voice lessons are not like singing to the radio. This is work. These are exercises for the voice and abdomen. It is training and repetition and focus.

I always thought singers just opened up their mouths and let it out. And I still believe the best ones do just that. But it isn’t as if they have not prepared. It’s just that they finally get to that point where it has become second nature.

Getting to “second nature” has turned out to be a rather lengthy process for me. “First” nature is to be fearful, to be anxious, to be shy, to lack confidence. Yet, in Christ, I am a new creation. Why does the old nature linger?

Whom do I choose?

What are my choices?

I can choose to remain as I am, to nurse the old nature. To give in. To beat myself up. To stagnate. And when I have wallowed enough, to search alone for self-confidence.

Or I can choose to believe in the promise of God that I am a new creation. (2Cor 5:17) That He has not given me a spirit of timidity, but one of power, love and self-discipline. (2Tim 1:7) That my confidence is not in myself, but in Him. (Jer 17:7)

Whom do I choose?

I choose my Lord. Daily. Sometimes minute by minute. I must hide His word in my heart and fight the old, self-centered, self-empowered nature. Little by little, lesson by lesson, God separates the wheat (the fruit) from the chaff (the husk that obscures it). Jesus lifts my hands and the Spirit blows away the residue. And, like any good training, we repeat the process over and again. Threshing. Winnowing. Threshing.

“Whom… Do… You… Choose…?” Again, “Whom… Do… You… Choose…?” I sing down the keyboard, lower and lower, until my voice is on its knees. And when my heart finally joins it, the notes sing for themselves.

Whom do you choose?

2 comments:

Celly B said...

What a great reminder to live for God and surrender to Him daily. Thank you for sharing your story.

Wendy Pope said...

Lisa
Hello. It is Wendy Pope. I saw your link on Lysa's site and jumped over to your blog. I have thought of you often.
This is a well written article. It is very meaning. I can almost hear you singing! Thanks for sharing.
I will never forget the back rub you selflessly gave me last year at She Speaks. You are a treasure! Email me sometime and let me know how things are going.